Can sexual intercourse be used as a method of meditation ?

One of the most rewarding emotions felt by the human mind is associated with sexual intercourse. We can’t deny the fact that sometimes nothing seems to be better than being in the presence of your lover and enjoy the fruits of the intricate art of lovemaking. However, what could be more rewarding is taking the next step in your spiritual journey whilst making use of this beautiful union of two bodies.

Meditation is often perceived as a state of non-activity, silence, and stillness. And conventional sex as we know it is a full-on activity. Naturally, the question arises – how can you intertwine these two things? If you’re ready to take a deeper plunge into your spiritual journey while also enjoying the sexual nature of your being, keep reading. You’re in for a treat.

Here is a step by step guide on how to use sexual intercourse as a method of meditation:

Mindset: The majority of religions do not promote the sacredness of love, they have condemned it as a sin, the conditioning has gone so deep in the human mind that we make love in such a hurry as if we want to finish it faster. There has to be a shift in mindset and acceptance of the sacredness of the divine sexual energy that makes our existence a reality. Do not feel guilty. Instead, feel grateful for this possibility.

Sacred Space for Sex: Since the goal of this sexual experience is spiritual, it is very conducive to have a separate space for sex, just like you have a meditation room. Taking a shower before the lovemaking makes it furthermore refreshing and pure. You can use incense, scented candles, and dim lights to set the mood of the place. Dim lights make it easier to dissolve boundaries between the bodies of you and your partner, as well as you and the room around you.

Engage in foreplay: We all know that foreplay is an important part of lovemaking. A woman’s body has far more erogenous zones than a man’s body. A man’s touch gives the woman an opportunity to be more aware of her body and take her to a meditative state as this transition to arousal takes place. For a man, a woman’s naked visuals are enough to make him aroused but it is very important to caress a woman’s body in order to take her to the same level of arousal. So, do not be in a hurry and be playful and give each other time to feel the energy of the union.

Include tantra practices: To create awareness you can use these techniques to enhance your foreplay:
Eye-gazing: at the beginning of the foreplay gaze into each other’s eyes and try to look inside the being front of you, try to keep coming back to the gaze whenever possible and maintain it while reaching climax.
Synchronized breathing: sync your breath with your partner and breathe alternatively, inhale when your partner exhales and vice-versa.

Remain a witness: ‘To meditate successfully, the idea that you’re doing a meditation can be quite an obstacle’ – Eckhart Tolle If that is true how it is that you can meditate? Meditation is something that happens by creating the right atmosphere in your body and mind. You certainly cannot do it, but you can create conducive environment for it to take place.

While you caress each other’s body, become a witness to this simple but extraordinary event. At this point there are four entities not two, man and the witness in man, woman and the witness in woman. Witness the joy and the sensations that the man and the woman are experiencing from each other’s touch. Become a witness to all your body’s senses are receiving. If you’re a witness to the process, there are high chances for you and your partner to reach climax together.

Positions: The best, most conducive position for meditative sex is letting the woman be on top. The reason is when the woman is on top, she is more active and in control of the motion making her reach the climax faster and delaying the orgasm for the man to create a balance and in turn enabling the couple to reach the climax together. Try more such positions where the woman is in control and switch between positions but give each position enough time and be mindful of each transition, and keep the witness alive.

Embrace: Do not immediately separate after the orgasm, remain together for a while and watch the effect of the orgasm disappear slowly. After you experience the peak orgasm, as you continue to witness the peak wither away you will soon experience another orgasm, this is called Valley Orgasm in Tantra which occurs after the peak orgasm. Until you experience this orgasm and again come back to a normal state, don’t separate.

The After play: After the experience of both the orgasms, comes the after play. Yes, we’ve all heard of foreplay but what is after play? The energies go through unusual ups and downs during the whole process; the best way to stabilize this is the after play. You can massage each other’s bodies and caress each other until the energies settle down in a stable way. Meanwhile, keep witnessing the process.

The beauty of sacred and meditative dance is that it requires no words. We can transcend language, cultural and religious divides between the self and others when we unite in movement. Dance is the perfect way to make new friends whilst having fun. As you dance and connect to the intimacy of shared humanity with your fellow dancers, your smile releases endorphins, creating a happiness feedback system to the brain which triggers happy hormones, lowers stress levels and makes it easy to create connections with others. How does it get any better than that?

When you’ve experienced this multiple times, you can try the whole sequence in a visualization process in the same ambience with or without your partner.

Write to us about your experiences with meditative sex; tell us about the different methods that you’ve tried. We always love to hear from you!