Talking to Your Kids about Sex-Conscious Parenting Approach

It’s not just one talk, its many talks.

The parent is the first teacher to a child. Children are developing their understanding of relationships and values from the moment they are born. The foundation for how their sexuality will develop and evolve as children, teenage and adults stem from watching the parent.

Some barriers for adults:

• Parents may be unclear about some of their own values and feel confused about which values they should convey to their children
• Parents have their own baggage with sexual history
• Will get it wrong or are embarrassed

For children 1-5 years old, there are several tips around Safety and Consent:

• Safety is your right: Reinforce this!
• Express your feelings: All emotions are welcome!
• Early warning signs: What are they? How to identify them. Health risks.
• Network of 5: Who are your safe people?

For children 6-9 years old, these are some key teaching topics:

• Puberty and bodily changes for girls (8-13), boys (9-14)
• Consent and safety: body language
• Internet awareness and pornography: average ages of first exposure to porn are at 10 years old.
• Crushes: what feels good when we like people?

For children 9-12 years old, these are some key talking points:

• Good touch/Bad touch: slapping butts, nipple pinching, grabbing genitals
• Body Image: stories, issues, anxieties and how to handle them
• Maybe is a NO until it is a YES: practice saying NO, loudly.
• Pleasure

Some ‘Don’ts’:

• Don’t think you have to know everything
• Don’t always wait for your child to ask
• Don’t think it’s harmful to tell too much too soon
• Don’t make fun of our child’s ideas and questions